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Ysabel sends an email…

Taking a quick break from covers to share another case of necessity mothering invention. In order to fix the kitties’ water fountain, I had to order some parts from the company, Vet Ventures.com. The order contained an offer for free filters for a year for good stories about how the fountain has affected our lives. I “channeled” Ysabel for the following:

My Story
by
Ysabel, HRH: QOASS
qoass
How do you do? My name is Ysabel, aka, HRH the Queen of All She Surveys.  As you can see, from my exquisite blue eyes and perfect markings, I come from the finest of Royal Families.
This is … Efanor. My…little brother:
baka
He’s an idiot.

He’s not really my brother. That’s just something my slaves…er…the  Humanoid co-dwellers who fill my water bowl and brush my hair, insist that I call him.
Okay, so these weren’t taken yesterday. What’s a few months among friends?
This is me today:
queen2
This is Efanor:
stillanidiot

As you can see, he’s still an idiot.
Clearly.
Unlike the Idiot, I’m an exceedingly delicate flower who requires a constant source of fresh, clean water. (He just wants somthing to play in.) I have allergies, you see. Very bad allergies to certain foods and particularly to … sullied  water. My kidneys are…special, being royal and all. For three years my poor little kidneys had to make do with one, count them, ONE, meager bowl of fresh water a day. And I had to share it with the Idiot! I’m certain my IQ suffered from the shared cooties.
You can’t imagine the humiliation.
But then, one day, my slaves…er…humanoid co-dwellers erected The Magical Fountain of Eternally Fresh Water. If I were any less well bred, I’d have danced for joy. Being royal, of course, I merely graced it with my presence.
Constantly.
At long last, my delicate little kidneys had all the fresh water they could possibly desire.
And narry a hint of The Idiot’s spit.
The Magical Fountain produced its elixer faithfully for several years, then…
…one day….
…it…stopped.

Just…stopped.

Like that.

ohwoe

Oh…woe!

itstopped

“Fix it!” I demanded, but my slaves…er…the Humanoids with whom I co-dwell, failed to heed my demands! They… ignored me! They were too busy repairing The Farm of Future Sushi.

foodfactory

I was, naturally, appalled. For several days, I had to listen to much loud noise…likely it involved a great deal of cursing and swearing, but I’m certain I don’t understand such low language. There were many trips out of the castle and sitting about on the floor surrounded by small shiny toys…and a great deal of thoroughly disgusting water. It seemed to me a great deal of fuss over what is obviously a failed experiment, since in some seven years now, it has failed to produce a single meal.

At long last, the noise ended. The Sushi Farm was back to glowing in the dark (I’m certain it’s radioactive)…

And then…the doorbell rang. It was a box. A box containing the magical unit for my Fountain of Fresh Water! The gods had heard my cries of distress!

The Humanoids groaned, saying something about yet one more Thing To Fix. I braced myself for yet days more of the loud vocalizations of distressed Humanoids…. but a mere five minutes later, there was a squeal of joy from the Royal Dining Nook, and the Magical Fountain was once again producing the Elixer of Life!

The Humanoid requests that I send her heartfelt thanks for what she calls the “quick and easy, utterly intuitive repair.”

Me? What do I know? More to the point, What do I care?

I’m content just to get back to the important things in life.

cantwait

Thank you, oh gods of vetventures.com, for making my dreams of fresh water a reality once more.

Sincerely,

Ysabel, HRH, the Queen of All She Surveys


A final word from the slaves…er…Humanoid co-dwellers.

Ysabel does indeed have a kidney problem. Fresh water is even more important to her than her morning brushing. And in ensuring she has that constant source, I’m certain it’s both extended her life and the quality thereof. She loves the Drinkwell fountain, as does Efanor. He went into hiding when the camera came out:

baggedefanor

but he’s one of those who loves catching the water on the fly. He sneaks up from behind and curls his head around the fountain. Wish I could catch him at it. Very cute.

Thank you for a great product and honestly, for a repair that was so dirt simple, it was almost comical, after what I’ve been through the last few days.

++++++++++

I haven’t heard anything from them, so it’s probably not their cuppa, but I thought y’all might get a kick out of it.

Ja ne!

Ja ne!

23 comments to Ysabel sends an email…

  • AbigailM

    That story OUGHT to be worth a big stack of filters! Especially with the additional picture of the sushi farm, hee hee.

    • Jane

      I think they probably want “sound bytes” they can post on their website, so I don’t really expect anything, but I had a ball putting it together!

      I was just glad I didn’t have to buy a whole new fountain because of a dead impeller! I wound up getting a whole new pump, but it was still WAY cheaper than a whole new unit.

  • kokipy

    how could it not be their cuppa ! it is ours, in any event.

    • Jane

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Efanor totally understands that mindset! Only purchased cat toys are occasionally deficient. With Efanor, the ultimate joy is strings … anything remotely stringlike… I think he was a snake hunter in a previous life.

  • kokipy

    ps, I used to have a fountain like thing – not like this, nothing this nice, more of a reservoir that when they drank the bowl continually filled. my cat at the time loved it! but his joy was causing all of it to splash on the floor, under the theory that most everything can be a fine cat toy if you approach it right.

  • Glyn

    To HRH, QOASS Ysabel
    From: Her Royal Majesty, Empress Casandra I

    My brother, who reminds us of your Efanor more than we care to admit, and we wre hoping to learn how you convinced your, *ahem*, bipedal cohabitants to purchase said fountain. We have been sending our roayl decrees in every language we know and so far our ignorant servants have yet to get the message! Our poor brother has been reduced to ordering the water refilled ten to fifteen times a day in an attempt to immitate the magic of your fountain.

    Sincerely,
    HRM Lady Empress Casandra I

    *Note from afore mentioned bipedal cohabitant*
    This was, of course, hilarious! My poor room mates. I’m sure that they’ll feed it through their editorial system, which must be as slow as they all are. If you don’t win… well, let us practice some of that language Ysabel was refering to in their direction, shall we?

    • Ysabel

      We must be patient. The bipedals are a bit…slow. We have found in the past that teeth applied to the bony appendages frequently has an efficacious effect.

      Your sister in tolerance…

      HRH Ysabel

      (The idiot-siblings are pests, are they not? Ours always wishes to play at the most inopportune moments…i.e. when we are asleep or awake.)

  • mitha

    Very funny!!! Our Skinny Kitty would speak like HRH Ysabel, and I have no doubt that he also considers his slightly younger brother-by-adoption Pudgy Kitty to be an idiot. “Failed experiment…” :biggrin:

    • Ysabel

      It’s truly annoying. The output is really quite small and highly infrequent, and when they are served to us, it is on the carpet and rather disgusting and dried up. :pinch:

      Our bipedals say something about “escapes” and “carpet surfing” and seem most upset that we do not appreciate the offering. At least, we assume that is the reasoning. One can’t imagine that they are mournful for the loss of incipient sushi.

  • skitterling

    Oh, too much! 😆

    My regal kitty (sadly deceased and dearly missed) wouldn’t touch purchased toys, even for catnip. For him, it was a paper ball or nothing. And after he’d ‘killed’ by ‘gutting’ it with his back paws, he’d sit for a hour or so, holding it between his front paws and carefully tear it into little tiny pieces with his teeth. Best paper shredder I ever had!

    • Ysabel

      Ballies, as Our cousins-by-adoption in Chicago call them, are indeed excellent exercise equipment, though We prefer them soft, fuzzy and sparkling, as befits Our delicate nature.

  • kokipy

    Besides, Efanor was fairly adorable as a kitty. how winsome was that photo? it made me want to go out and aquire a few new kittens, as ours are a year old now. too bad kittens stay kittens for such a short while….

    • Jane

      He was a cutie. I’ve got a wonderful series of photos of both of them as kittens, sadly taken with an old digital camera and so not of the greatest quality, that I’m going to put together for Flickr. They showed up when I was putting all the backup disks onto the Free Agent drive.

      He’s a very sweet cat. Large, and a devout coward. Goes into hiding the moment strangers come in the house, but with me, he’s very cuddly.

  • kokipy

    Not that Ysabel is not also lovely. I just like the little black ones, i think.

    • Jane

      Me, too. I’m a Halloween-baby (almost.) Fortunately, I’ve always loved black cats, cuz they were the obvious gift/decoration, and I’ve now got a very fine collection of same.

      Partly, I think, my affection for them came out of underdog-pity. We had a Siamese when I was a kid who came to us pregnant and seemed perpetually pregnant for the next couple of years. They didn’t spay while pregnant at that time, so we had a lot of kittens to give away. Never had a problem with the Siamese, but the little black ones were much harder to find homes for. But they were invariably the sweetest of the litters. Not that the Siamese aren’t great kitties, love them, but there’s just something very cuddly about the black ones. I think it has to do with the “handiness” that Carolyn says comes with the black coloration in Persians.

  • chondrite

    As it happens, we used to have a Drinkwell fountain for our two cats (now deceased). The fountain eventually gave out, but I still have a stack of the filters for it. If you wish, I can forward them to you through a suitable agent. Someone may as well use the buggahs, as they are annoyingly expensive!

  • My vet recommended I get the Drinkwell for Birdie’s kidneys. Because I also live on a farm with well water, I wanted it to be filtered water. I usually use the Pur filter on the tap to filter their drinking water, but with the Drinkwell, why bother. I also have the 70 ounce reservoir, and it seems that both Birdie and Sydney like the fountain. Not to mention the sound of running water helps me go to sleep at night as the fountain is only a room and two doorways from my bedroom and the doors remain open all the time.

    • Jane

      That 70oz reservoir is great! Around here, the sound is just one more running water! 😀 Fortunately, yes, we love the sound. OTOH, there is that distinctive coughing sound it makes when running out…I hear it now. Better go fill it, before Ysabel applies the royal incentive!

  • OrionSlaveGirl

    Royal incentive = sharp teeth.

    I know that for a fact.

  • philospher77

    I have one of those for my two kitty girls. Got my dog two years ago, and she entirely ignored it. And then I started finding quite a lot of water splashed all over the floor. Yep, she finally decided moving water was much better than the stuff in the bowl. So I now have a Big Dog fountain (same idea, deeper bowl to reduce … dripping, shall we say?). The cats don’t like it quite as much, since it’s a little bit harder for them to get to the water, but everyone uses it.

  • Jane

    Tee hee! Is she your avatar?

    • philospher77

      Yep, that’s my Trink. She’s a retired racing greyhound… sweetest, best behaved dog ever. My chiropractor’s office staff keep asking me when I am bringing her back (she got to stay up front with them twice when I was taking her to the vet after my chiro appointment). When I mention that I am generally going to work after my appointments, their response was “we’ll babysit!”

      If anyone ever has any questions about adopting greyhounds, feel free to contact me!

      *gets off soapbox*

      Personally, I love the Drinkwell fountains. The only thing I would change on them is that, if I could, I would make the top reservoir bigger so that you can actually get your hand in it to clean it easier. Other than that, it’s great.

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